Twitter Rolls Out “Self-Tweeting” To Beta Testers

( While the Squid Game-like workforce environment and authoritarian posturing have been dominating much of the Elon Musk Twitter press of late, several less-publicized moves will arguably affect the average Tweeter more. One of these – a long-rumored self-tweeting feature called AutoTweet – was confirmed recently by several company insiders to not only exist, but also to have moved into the beta testing phase.

Simply put, for those Twitter users who find 280 characters too much to handle, AutoTweet will allow them to have Twitter post for them. The feature is actually a complex algorithm that monitors a user’s past Twitter history, email, other social interactions, and even browsing habits to create a composite profile to handle everything from likes and retweets to original posts.

While the feature is a potential boon for those too busy or lazy to keep up with the app, the AutoTweet feature beta period has not been without its share of problems. Members of the private subreddit /r/autotweeters have reported issues with the feature that range from the public posting of private (like, seriously really, really private) photos to posts littered with grammatical and spelling errors.

One of the biggest problems that AutoTweet is facing regards its “attitude slider,” which lets you set how aggressive – from “Doormat” to “Elon Smash!” – your tweets will be. User Sharon4712 shared her experience with the slider on the subreddit:

So, this part of it comes with almost zero documentation, right? So I set the slider to Elon Smash!, because that sounded like fun. Big mistake!

The next morning I wake up to find that AutoTweet and my boss have been going at it overnight. There must have been 20-30 tweets, back and forth, escalating to the point where AutoTweet calls my boss a… well, a c*cksucker, and other stuff. All CAPS, exclamation points after every word. And the most disgusting emojis… I never knew they existed!

So, I’m out of a job, obviously, which sucks. Elon, please, if you’re reading this, I’ll do anything. Work 80 hours a week, chained naked to my desk. I’ll bare you more children! Please? Master?

Insiders expect AutoTweet to launch sometime within the next three months, assuming the company is still in business. It is rumored that AutoTweet will be part of an updates package that will include customized interface controls, a rudimentary cash exchange tab, and a community-based HR feature that will allow users to vote every month on the Fired Twitter Employee of the Month (winning voters will be awarded a hangman icon to accompany every one of their tweets for the month).

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